...

Sometimes it is hard to get across and explain to people exactly why I hate the UK sports media so much.

Sometimes, it is not;

I am honestly lost for words.

Jenson Button and Lewis Hamilton SLAM Ferrari Cheats

Woah...!

I was looking forward to reading this article.  It's not often the two British drivers wear their hearts on their sleeves, so has the Daily Star got an emotional reaction from them?  What could they have said about the Ferrari incident this weekend?  Is it printable in a family paper?  Decide for yourself;

“I think team orders in Formula One are wrong, although sometimes they are inevitable."

Shocking stuff. Take that Ferrari!

Full article here (do not click link if you are under 18)

Simon 'Psychic Octopus' Jones

After I prised the other morning's Daily Mail from the brainwashed moron that is our work's PA, I found this in pride of place next to the story of footballer Joe Cole joining Liverpool FC:

The Daily Mail triumphantly crows that their transfer expert, ginger Dawn of the Dead extra Simon 'The Insider' Jones, had already told the world about this deal a whole two months ago.  This despite the fact that Roy Hodgson was only made manager of Liverpool at the start of this month. Or maybe as part of ex-manager Rafael Benítez's severance package, he can still chose who Liverpool sign?  It would not surprise me to be honest.

If I could offer one piece of advice to Jones with regards to all this, it would be: when making up a story, keep your employer's Chief Football Correspondent up to date with what is going on. This would prevent The Daily Mail from looking as though they are making it up as they go along and Matt Lawton from looking like a complete tit days before the transfer:

"The Falling Price of Cole Why Joe's Dream Bonanza at Arsenal, Manchester United, Liverpool or Spurs Looks Doomed"

Garbage from this piece include;

"... Cole would prefer to stay in London ..."

and

"...he may yet be tempted by a move abroad, with both AC Milan and Valencia reportedly interested."

Oh dear.

Now, let us have a look at some other Simon Jones 'exclusives' he has given the mail;

The Daily Mail, The Insider, June 2009

Tuncay Şanlı: Middlesbrough to Everton. Actually move:  Stoke.

Rob Hulse: Derby County to Middlesbrough. Current club: Derby County.

Ricardo Carvalho: Chelsea to Inter Milan. Current club: Chelsea.

A few more;

The Daily Mail, The Insider July 2009

David Silva: Valencia to Manchester United. Current club: Manchester City. Close Simon, I'll give you that.

Nemanja Vidic: Manchester United to AC Milan. This has been happening for about a year now. Current club: Manchester United, who today confirmed they agreed a long term contract with Vidic.

In that day's 'Insider Exclusives', Jones puts the dampeners on Joleon Lescott's move to Manchester City. Current club: Manchester City.

So, all in all, more lies in here than Tiger Woods' mobile inbox but not nearly as much entertainment.

Reputation for sale

The Capello Index, a website masterminded by Italian gambling entrepreneur Chicco Merighi and featuring ratings of all players in the World Cup using, according to the site, "an in-depth, objective and understandable analysis system", has had it's future put in doubt and is currently being taken down put back up taken down put back up.

The changing status and confusion seems to be over whether Fabio Capello (seen below) has anything to do with the site. This is odd to say the least.

'Ooo, I could crush a grape.'

The website is an alternative to reading about player's performances from hacks who were always picked to play in goal when they were younger, and instead employs Fabio Capello to use his experience as a manager at both club and international level to identify the attributes and qualities that make players valuable to a team. Working in conjunction with Chicco Merighi, he created a formula to objectively assess player performance beyond measurements simply based on gut instinct or raw statistical data.

We know this because at a press conference about the Capello Index at the London Stock Exchange, Capello said;

"I have sought to use my experience as a manager at both club and international level to identify the attributes and qualities that make players valuable to a team. Working in conjunction with Chicco Merighi, we have created a formula to objectively assess player performance beyond measurements simply based on gut instinct or raw statistical data." Fabio Capello

Strange then that Capello's agent, and son, Pierfilippo Capello should come out with this statement yesterday:

"My father knew nothing whatsoever of these ratings... He has never been paid, either directly or indirectly, for putting his name to any of this." Pierfilippo Capello

The website Fabio Capello has not received a penny from.

Nice of Capello to lend his image, name and reputation to something he earns nothing from.

For hire to promote YOUR website. For free, apparently.

It's almost as if realising it might have looked a little silly creaming £6 million per year, indirectly from English football supporters, whilst supposedly concentrating on being the first man to guide 11 gibbons to lift the World Cup, Capello has tried to back-pedal like he is attempting Colombière Pass.

It also demonstrates what a sad state of affairs this has all got to when the FA also feel the need to get involved , like a disappointed father, to clarify to us the responsibilities of a 63 year old England manager.

Still, when a site that claims to gain information from the current England manager yet thinks England forward Jermain Defoe has four 'e's and that England defender Ledley King now plays for Antigua and Barbuda, it's doubtful it will be missed.

Oh Fabio, we expected so much more.

Ranger's to be stripped of Scottish League title?

The Guardian certainly thinks so;

"Dimitar Berbatov capped a fine display with a goal as United beat the Scottish champions" http://www.guardian.co.uk/football 

We know that The Guardian doesn't really care for Scottish football, but this really is quite disappointing.

Ah well, back to photocopying for the 'Relationships' section young man.